I have never been in love before. So every time I get the chance to ask someone who has been in love before, I do. The answers are usually very abstract, poetic: vague. Apparently no one really can put it into words, or rather, the right words; apparently, you just feel… euphoric.
According to the Internet (where else?), scientifically explained, the initial stages of falling in love increases the level of adrenalin and cortisol in your blood, causing some very lovely indeed physical armpit-sweating, heart-racing, mouth-drying reactions. Then comes the dope, literally dopamine, which triggers an intense rush of pleasure – the same effect as doing cocaine! According to scientist Helen Fisher, you have “increased energy, less need for sleep or food, focused attention, and exquisite delight in smallest details of this novel relationship.” And finally, to cap it off, serotonin, so they’ll always be on your mind. Okayyyy. That still doesn’t mean anything to me.
You won’t have to look far to find lists online (“on the line” – ref: The Internship) bullet-pointing what falling in love feels like. I’ve found them particularly interesting, especially since my limited experience of falling in love somehow simply does not match with these common symptoms. So do I really know what it’s like to fall in love?
They say falling in love is… Exhaustive
I think… It makes me even more aware that I need to get enough sleep in order to best share my life and schedule with someone else
They say falling love is… Having butterflies in your tummy
I think… It’s like having oompa loompas in my heart
They say falling in love… Makes you want to drop everything in your life
I think… It makes me even more excited to pursue more things in my life
They say falling in love… Makes you so obsessed, you can’t eat or sleep and want to spend every waking moment with the person
I think… I eat and sleep just fine, better if with them of course, and when we’re not together, I think about them and smile
They say falling in love… Makes you lose yourself completely, or act differently
I think… If anything, it propels me to be even more me, 100% truly myself, more me than I have ever felt before, such that I feel so free
They say falling in love is… A whole new intensity of feelings for a person
I think… It’s got nothing to do with levels; it’s maybe just a completely new feeling that cannot be compared to what you’ve ever felt for anyone else in the past or could possibly imagine feeling for anyone else in the present
They say falling in love is… Blindly thinking they’re OMG AWESOME
I think… It’s knowing their mistakes, their past, their weaknesses, their flaws, and still thinking they’re OMG AWESOME, and loving them more for who they are right now
They say falling in love is… Experiencing mood swings that go from extreme unexplainable happiness and exhilaration to anxiety and panic and fear and insecurity
I think… It makes me feel exceptionally secure, confident and happy, even more so than normal
They say falling in love… Creates an emotional dependency of possessiveness, fear of rejection, separation anxiety, jealousy, fear of losing them
I think… Knowing what we share makes me even more emotionally secure, and I can be free to feel happy without worrying about anything at all
They say falling in love… Makes you start daydreaming about having an abstract, far-off future with them
I think… It makes us talk about a real future together that we can actually see happening
They say falling in love… Makes you go at it like bunnies
I think… Sex becomes so secondary when emotions mean so much
They say falling in love… Makes you do stupid things
I think… I actually become more aware that I shouldn’t do any stupid things that might jeopardize chances of spending time with the person I love (Although, I think it’s true that I become “stupider” in the sense that suddenly I can’t think straight and all my eloquence flies out the window as I struggle to find the right words to say to truly express how I’m feeling.)
They say falling in love… You’ll become overwhelmed by lust – can’t keep your hands off each other, don’t really know each other but it’s okay, you’re just seriously attracted, you focus on the good points only and not the bad
I think… Maybe kissing and other public displays of affection might get a bit excessive, but there’s always going to be one big difference – lust comes hand-in-hand with love; love doesn’t follow feelings of lust
They say falling in love… Makes you become obsessed – you want to be in a relationship, you want to be together, you want to start a life together, you want to basically be in a fantasy world together
I think… Love makes you want to enjoy every moment together. It’s that simple, really.
They say falling in love… Makes you feel good, especially if you’ve always had some insecurities about being loved, they way you look, having someone to depend on when you have problems in life etc
I think… Love is about making the person you love feel good; it’s not about you at all
So yeah, maybe I don’t really know what falling in love is like, since I have such totally different views on it. But I’d like to think that when I fall in love, I’ll just know. <3
“First best is falling in love. Second best is being in love. Least best is falling out of love. But any of it is better than never having been in love.”
~ Maya Angelou
“Falling in love is very real, but I used to shake my head when people talked about soul mates, poor deluded individuals grasping at some supernatural ideal not intended for mortals but sounded pretty in a poetry book. Then, we met, and everything changed, the cynic has become the converted, the sceptic, an ardent zealot.”
~ E. A. Bucchianeri, Brushstrokes of a Gadfly
“Love does not appear with any warning signs. You fall into it as if pushed from a high diving board. No time to think about what’s happening. It’s inevitable. An event you can’t control. A crazy, heart-stopping, roller-coaster ride that just has to take its course.”
~ Jackie Collins, Lucky
“When you fall in love, the natural thing to do is give yourself to it. That’s what I think. It’s just a form of sincerity.”
~ Haruki Murakami, Norwegian Wood
And the best quote of all, from Sammy Sunshine on Yahoo answers:
When you are truly in love, you will feel it. Not just with butterflies in your tummy (although they are there too!) but with your entire heart and soul.
You will look in his eyes and see your eternity.
You will kiss his lips and feel your spirit take flight.
You will hold his hand and know that you are home.
You will know that your life will never be the same after meeting him.
You will know that you never want to live your life without him.