Date a girl who writes.
Date her because she doesn’t usually indulge in expensive coffee, and when she does, she sips on it slowly just so she can sit at the cafe for an entire afternoon while she thinks. She will scrape the last morsels of any bowl and lick the plate clean, one slow lick at a time, because her mind has been wired to savour each experience.
Date her even if she’s goddamn messy. She’ll have things everywhere, you might not even recognise any floor space in her home, and you’ll have to step over stuff just to get to her couch – if there’s even a couch. And it might have been two months since she last did her laundry. Which isn’t a problem, she probably has a closet bursting with clothes – because she never has time to go through them and sort them out and throw them out – and even when she does, she still gets sentimental about individual pieces, knowing where each one came from, and remembers a moment or moments in her life when she had worn just that, and each moment special, cherished, important. And in fact, the more laundry the better, since the laundromat is her favourite place to hang out at because it offers just enough quiet and the lull of spinning machines to think, to dream, to write, to ponder, to question, to explore, unencumbered.
And her desk, oh my, her desk, piled high with books and magazines she pours over, but never can seem to finish, because she’s always distracted by an idea she read about in one of them. And empty pen cases everywhere, because, ever the faithful pen and paper girl, she scribbles far too much that the life span of pens evaporates in her hands.
Find a girl with too many tabs on her browser it’s always one tab away from crashing. Tabs of obscure soundcloud musicians, of provocative thought catalog articles, of TEDtalks loading in the background, of hippie health forums, of couchsurfing conversations and travel reviews, of idea prompts and design tutorials and that random video of Taylor Swift’s new song but that features the goat, just because everyone needs a laugh every now and then.
Kiss the girl who makes an effort to dress up when you’re going out but will never look well polished or put together because she never spends on expensive or branded clothes and almost always is in something she shouldn’t be in because she doesn’t understand trends or what suits her body type or skin tone or if things should or shouldn’t be worn a certain way. Kiss her anyway because she’s adorably cute that way.
She’s the one who will get excited when dark clouds loom overhead, who’ll be the first out the door when the first drops of rain start pelting when everyone else is heading indoors, the one who’ll be skipping and sloshing in puddles and yes, dancing and singing in the rain. And she’ll come back in, totally refreshed and wet and dripping and exuberant, with eyeliner running down the cheeks of her face, but she doesn’t care, all she could really use is a glass of chilled lemongrass tea. Give her a towel, but grab one for yourself too, because if you’re dating a girl like that, you’d better be out there in rain with her too.
Date the girl who tells you, “Hey can you give me a couple of minutes?” in the middle of a IM or whatsapp chat, because she just thought of something interesting and wants to write it immediately. Date the girl who can start talking about the weather and ends up talking about alligators in the wild because one topic just led to another which led to another and… you might want to forget about sleeping early, not when you’re out on a date with this one.
You’ll spot her easily on the train because she’s the only one reading a book, an actual book, the kind that has a cover and pages and words printed in ink. She’ll be hunched over a notebook or laptop at the cafe or in the park or in the middle of nowhere. Buy her a coffee. She’ll be completely grateful. Be careful not to bump into her when she’s walking in the crowd but suddenly stops and pulls out a tiny notebook in which she scribbles something. Something important that she didn’t want to lose. A thought, a line, a string of words, an expression.
It’s hard to date a girl who writes. Because the words you say have meaning. Every single word. Every thought, every action, every scene in your lives. It all will mean something, and sometimes quite strongly, to her. There are no such things are throwaway lines in writing. So why should there be throwaway anythings in life? Make everything count. And celebrate every second.
It’s easy to make a girl who writes happy though. Download Pages onto her iPad. Buy her a transformer laptop. Give her books, and pretty notebooks even if she already has a hundred. She will never have too many notebooks. Never ever. And pens. The best things that you can give her – give her great conversation, with witty words, jolly jokes, penultimate puns, good gossip, sad stories; give her experiences that she will never forget, take her to new and novel places, show her a different way of living, teach her something she never knew; and… inspire her. Always give her the gift of inspiration.
A girl who writes will always understand. She would know what it’s like to hear both sides of every story, see both sides of every coin. She would be able to see past words, even harsh, angry words uttered, to see reason, motivation, desperation, hurt. She will see more things than you will ever know how to show to her, and she will understand it all, and she will accept it all. Because she will understand that it’s all part of a journey, nobody opens a book and flips to the last page expecting a wondrous ending to a story they never even got to know.
She will always be there for you. Just like every book that she has put down because she was distracted by something else that fascinated her for a while, that gets picked up again when the festivity has died down and there is silence in the room once again, and again two years later when she needs to re-read it, or ten years later when she finds it tucked behind the dusty shelf. There is no such thing as being bored by a good book.
She might not always be there for you. She might be up at two AM, brows furrowed, staring motionlessly into the screen of her Mac. And suddenly a flurry of fingers as she types without stopping for an hour. Watch her quietly as you lean against the door frame from the bedroom. Resist the urge to tell her to come to bed. Turn on the fan if she is hot, make sure it’s pointing her way; put a jacket on her shoulders if she is cold; make her some tea if her cup is empty; but don’t tell her it’s late or remind her that she has to work tomorrow. You may lose her to her own crazy world for a while every now and then, but don’t worry, she will come back to you.
Date a girl who writes because she will bring colour to your world. She will be the sexy submissive, the proper princess, the vicious vixen, the teasing temptress, the selfish seductress, the wicked witch. She will be your Aphrodite and Athena and Hera and Eos and Nike.
You will fall madly in love with her. You will know what it’s like to be smitten. You will smile when she smiles, her bright, electrifying smile. You will get excited when she does, when her eyes light up and she bursts into giggles and hearty laughs. You will want to kiss her every time she does something silly without realising it, and then laughs at herself with abandon when she does. You will want to do nothing else but hug her and hold her close when she is saddened by something, when she hugs her knees close to her heart, and lets the tears fall silently. She will be on your mind, night and day, even when you least expect it, and annoyingly so, because as much as you will refuse to let her in, she will become an indispensable part of your life. And it will scare you. Inexplicably so.
She will be the one who will hold your hand when someone you love dies. She will be the one who will keep quiet and sigh along with you when you’re having problems at work – because she knows you don’t need solutions, just someone to know how much you’re going through and show support. She will be the one who makes you realise that every problem she faces, every tantrum she throws, every fight that you’ll ever have, are simply opportunities for you to show her you love her and to shower her with understanding and affection.
When you see candles, you will think of her. Because she will bathe you in candlelight, make love to you in candlelight, kiss your temples and nose in candlelight. She will be naughty, and deliciously so, and game for almost anything and everything. She will be everything to you.
And for the first time in your life, you will make wishes. You will make wishes on shooting stars, skipping stones, and every time she squeals “Happy magic time!” when the clock turns 11:11. You will think it silly, but you will indulge her. Your heart will skip a beat whenever she talks about anything about your future together. You will envision children, your children. You will see her telling them stories, stories she has written. You will see their completely ungeneric double-barrelled names on their birth certificates. Because even there, a girl who writes will want to write magic into those names, because they will be your legacy, yours and hers together.
If you find a girl who writes, marry her. You will adore her. There will never be a day in your life that doesn’t feel like an adventure. There will never be a night not filled with romance, humour, mystery… every damn category and genre of book you could find in a bookstore. You will never run out of things to say or do or be. She will always be curious, and you will always be intrigued. She will never stop imagining, and you will never stop being impressed.
Date a girl who writes. Because every page of the story you will write together will be amazing.